Wednesday, September 13, 2006

Anthems and Jan Krist

First, a little background:
In May 2004 my friend Robynn and her son Josh died when their home burned. To the best of available evidence, it appears her husband, Josh's father, set the fire. Since his lawyers have managed to delay the trial, that has yet to be proven. In fact, his lawyers delayed the trial so many times that he was able to use an Indiana legal loophole to demand to be released from jail in January 2006. The case was set for trial (again) this month, but, yet again, his lawyers delayed it. This time until November.
I was married to an abusive man for 4 years but through luck, friends and eventual sense won free in 1999. I guess I've been feeling a form of survivors guilt, mixed up with the grief and anger.

Now the anthem bit:
This morning, the song running through my head was Jan Krist's "All I Can Change". I guess my subconscious throws up a lifeline now and then. The full song can be found HERE.
Below are some of the lyrics I found most comforting.

Well I tried to move the heavens
And I tried to move the earth
Bullied it with prayer
Badgered God with his own words

Wrestling with an image
Of the way life ought to be
The world is broken
All I can change is me

I am among those taken in
By hucksters who "knew truth"
And I've seen a lot of brokeness
From truth's merciless abuse
It's bitter as a new wine
But it finally sinks right through
In the long run
all you can change is you

BTW, If you haven't heard Jan Krist, give her a listen.
She's fantastic.
Some song samples can be found HERE

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