In fact, I am giving fiction writing a rest.
As I wrote in my journal this morning:
"I might still write fiction one day, but the amount of dread I feel when attempting it now is a clear sign I no longer (at least at this time) have the passion to pursue it. I am lucky enough to have my illness counterbalanced by the freedom to do whatever my heart desires and my body can bear. Better to seek joy. As I said, it may still happen one day, but the dream fizzled while I wasn't looking. I feel no sadness, just peace."
I wrote this in my new journal, won in a blog giveaway from Lynn Viehl. She chose well for me, as each page has a Mark Twain quote and I have enjoyed Mark Twain for as long as I can remember. The quote on today's page? "Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do."
I know writing of any sort is work, and worth the work. That's not what this is about. It is about spending my free time doing things I love. Writing is part of it, I write reviews every week. Maybe that is all I will ever write, and that's ok. If more happens, it is more likely to happen with a spark, for me. When and if a story arrives (as they have in the past) I may pursue this path again for a time, to see what happens. For now, I will begin my days with anticipation instead of dread, and shift focus to something else (I have lots of passions from which to choose, after all!) I am very glad I gave this attempt the 13 days to see what happened, and I am ready to move forward with getting the house settled, my creative room (formerly the second bedroom) set up, then see what I can create! That is the core of my passion, creating. Maybe I will write something in the non-fiction realm, that does seem to flow more easily, but if not, I still have plenty of things to keep me out of trouble and interested in life.
Back to knitting, I want to add a few more hats to the box before I ship things out to Wool-Aid this month :-}