Friday, October 12, 2012

Awaiting Passion

No, that's not the title of a romance novel.
In fact, I am giving fiction writing a rest.
As I wrote in my journal this morning:
"I might still write fiction one day, but the amount of dread I feel when attempting it now is a clear sign I no longer (at least at this time) have the passion to pursue it. I am lucky enough to have my illness counterbalanced by the freedom to do whatever my heart desires and my body can bear. Better to seek joy. As I said, it may still happen one day, but the dream fizzled while I wasn't looking. I feel no sadness, just peace."
I wrote this in my new journal, won in a blog giveaway from Lynn Viehl. She chose well for me, as each page has a Mark Twain quote and I have enjoyed Mark Twain for as long as I can remember. The quote on today's page? "Work consists of whatever a body is obliged to do, Play consists of whatever a body is not obliged to do."
I know writing of any sort is work, and worth the work. That's not what this is about. It is about spending my free time doing things I love. Writing is part of it, I write reviews every week. Maybe that is all I will ever write, and that's ok. If more happens, it is more likely to happen with a spark, for me. When and if a story arrives (as they have in the past) I may pursue this path again for a time, to see what happens. For now, I will begin my days with anticipation instead of dread, and shift focus to something else (I have lots of passions from which to choose, after all!) I am very glad I gave this attempt the 13 days to see what happened, and I am ready to move forward with getting the house settled, my creative room (formerly the second bedroom) set up, then see what I can create! That is the core of my passion, creating. Maybe I will write something in the non-fiction realm, that does seem to flow more easily, but if not, I still have plenty of things to keep me out of trouble and interested in life.
Back to knitting, I want to add a few more hats to the box before I ship things out to Wool-Aid this month :-}


Don Meyer said...

I like the Mark Twain quote! And do that with which you are comfortable, which doesn't necessarily mean easy. Lotsa luck!

Marietta said...

For me it is also about creation, but not necessarily any particular TYPE of creation. I just got a creative kick out of decoating Halloween candy bars to look like mummies. Not exactly fabric creativity! But it worked for me.

Dreams change. Passion changes. Inspiration changes. Change is good.

Anonymous said...

Love that: passion = creating.

AlisonH said...

It's all good and all in good time.

Deb said...

I love this post its nice to know I am not alone.
I have learned over the years that passions wane, when I was younger writing was all I wanted to do, than as life grew along with me I found I was passionate about other things, so while one passion wanes for a while, another begins to develop and I throw all my energy into it,than another cooling period, another passion, a cycle, what took me 40 odd years to understand is that I am a creative person, not just a writer but an artist, whether I chose fabrics, fiber, pottery, painting, herbs or gardening. In my mid 50's I am passionate about life.