Thursday, September 02, 2010


Happy September!
Wow. August passed in a blur of fatigue. I only took ONE PHOTOGRAPH the entire month.
That really brought home to me how messed up Fibro can make my life. Most days I mange to pretend I am ok, just a bit achy and tired, but getting sick right after the Maker Faire messed me up. I was housebound for one day shy of four weeks. And when I say housebound, I mean unable even to step outside the door. I don't even know if flowers bloomed in the garden this year. Not healthy mentally, but because Os and I took turns being sick, we muddled through and managed, but weren't able to do all we had hoped.
My big outing after the four weeks was to go grocery shopping with Oscar. I realized I had not gone shopping for months.. perhaps a year. I am no longer able to walk from the car to the store, and rather than have Os load and unload the chair or run a cart out to me, I stayed home. Again, the effect Fibro has had on my life this year was driven home, and how much the arthritis has progressed. Not a cheerful thought, but a necessary evaluation. Rather than the minute I was able to stand last year, I am down to about 30 seconds at a time before my ankle joint feels crushed. Takes a while to scrub a countertop when you do it in 30 second intervals. I have figured out how to cut up vegetables by placing the cutting board over half the kitchen garbage can. It is the perfect height for my stool. Unfortunately, the sink and countertops and stove are high enough I can't reach them from the stool, and the kitchen is small enough and closed below the countertops, so using my electric chair is not a solution. One reason we are making huge efforts to pay down debt is we both want a new home; me so I can do more of the household chores, and Oscar because the house doesn't have enough sun, or room for the things he loves to do.
This morning, Oscar is working overtime. I told him I would make the dish to take when we visit friends Amanda, Tommy and wee Sean this evening. I managed to get the chicken in the oven, but it exhausted me (had to find and wash the two pans I wanted) and destroyed my feet enough that I have to stay off of them the rest of the day if I want to have anything left for the visit. (Amanda and Tommy have steps up into their house. With two canes I can make it fine, but not if my ankles have been misused to the point of cracking). So Oscar will finish the cooking when he gets home, and I will stay planted in my chair with my pain meds and writing assignment.
Jennifer Crusie has answered the interview questions, and I need to craft an intro and conclusion. I have the rough draft done, but experience has shown me barbiturates and writing final drafts do not mix. At least not the kind of final drafts I want to be submitting LOL.
I have also read 5 books that need reviewing. Again, some rough drafts done, but I will finish them tomorrow after I finish the Crusie interview.
My birthday is in October. I usually celebrate the occasion by reflecting on things that have changed during the past year, and by projecting goals for the coming year (my own little new year observance).
This year, the chronic health situation has become worse, but my coping mechanisms and ability to stop before I mess myself up too much are stronger than last year. This has meant I have more time with a clear mind, and energy to write, and design. This in turn means I have been able to contribute money to the household, which has increased my confidence and cleared the way emotionally for more writing.
August showed me that even with the extra care I am taking, a bad bout with a virus will still mess me up (my immune system is compromised because I had my spleen removed when I was a young teen) especially when combined with the Fibro. The secret is in letting myself sleep as much as possible, so that I can have clear days amidst the fog. Even as messed up as August was, I was able to write book reviews, and compose the interview for Jennifer Crusie. I also wrote a few proto patterns that I will polish this month, if all goes moderately well.
So, enough about me and my troubles for awhile. I hope now that things are on a more even keel healthwise, I can get back to blogging most every day. There are lots of interesting things out there to discover and share.


AlisonH said...

So no immunity to the -coccus bugs? Ouch. We have a cousin nearby who's had to deal with that, and who was lucky to survive meningococcemia. You take care of yourself! And thank you Oscar for all you do too!

Lynx said...

Accepting our limits is important. Getting OTHERS to accept our limits is impossible.

Glad you are feeling better, keep some energy for SATURDAY!!! ☺

Susieknitster said...

I to have Fibro and Chronic Fatigue so I understand what you are talking about completely. Our biggest hurdle I think is getting others to understand, which if you have never experienced it can be hard. Having good coping skills is good and I have the most wonderful counselor (don't know about the spelling). My big questions is why can't I sleep as well at night as when I take a nap during the day. On those days when I don't rest or nap, I still don't get the good sleep I get with a nap. I envy babies. Ah, but such is life. We just take each day as it comes. It is getting cooler things have to get better.