It is still threatening to snow now and again, but we DID catch sight of the ground. I have been coming out of my agoraphobic shell, too. Each time gets a bit easier.
Sama on an email list we share suggested taking the same route each time I went to a specific place. This is contrary to the way I used to be. I used to enjoy finding as many different ways as possible to travel to the same destination.
I took Sama's advice, (asked Oscar to drive the route I would take on my own to the fitness center, actually) and it worked!
My visit last week I was really freaked out. I had sweaty shaking hands, and my voice got really tight and rough (I sounded a lot like my grandmother, Lola Metzger, weird... maybe she wasn't grumpy so much as tense?) I made, it, though, and worked on the ergometer (arm-bicycle) for 20 minutes, no problems at all physically.
This week, Friday, I was still tense, but only at about 70% of last week's level. I still had the odd voice, but my hands weren't as sweaty, and my nails didn't leave marks in my palms.
I worked out for 40 minutes and went 7 miles, but set the resistance too high, and strained my abdomen a bit. Not badly, though, I was fine this morning.
This morning, we got up at 7:30 and left for the fitness center an hour later. My anxiety level was much lower, still the odd voice, but no sweaty palms, and I felt close to normal. As close as I get, anyway. Oscar helped me get set up at the ergometer, and left for his Yoga class. I worked out for a bit more than an hour, but left the resistance at level 1. I still went 7.4 miles, but no sore tummy today. I had a good time listening to music and 'pumping' in time to some of the faster songs (about every other song).
When we got home, I made some lovely asparagus, grilled tomato and chicken Lawash wraps.
Then we went to the library, and I DROVE!! The first time since Fall 2007. I was pretty pooped and unfocused after wheeling around the library (on top of my exercise this morning) so Oscar drove us home. Next week, I will drive us to the fitness center, if I don't go on my own, first.
Using the ergometer, I have enough energy to drive home again.
Although I dearly love to swim, getting changed and swimming along with the wheeling around just tires me out too much, I don't feel I can drive myself home safely. When swimming it is all too easy to go past my limits. It feels so fantastic to be weightless and almost pain-free.
After some time spent increasing my strength and stamina, I can swim on my own. Until then, I'll swim with Oscar.
I love the ergometer, though, I can drive there on my own, I can listen to the music, get lost in it, really, and just keep exercising. Then drive home.
I feel really good.
4 comments:
Congratulations!
And what a stunning picture: those gorgeous blues and that cat's blue eyes. Wow.
Good for you!! I am really proud of you for finding ways to conquer your fear. That was not an easy thing to do, but you did it and are to be commended for your persistence. You're in charge! I know it was easier to write about it than to actually do it, but tight voice and all, you did it.
Way to go!
agoraphobia sucks.
beating it is GREAT.
the kitty and blue yarn is so *cuuuuute!!!*
almost as pretty as my new hat, from a certain favorite spirit-sister!;-) which, being green, I am wearing today even though I am inside and it's warm. Happy St Paddy's Day!!!
Huzzah to you on all of your victories!!!! :> I think it is so cool that you are getting out, exercising, driving! I am so happy for you dear one!
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